Those who have the courage to set sail
Will always be rewarded and never fail,
So no matter how rough the waves, they’ll learn to grow a thicker skin.
Like the day a fisherman dared to wish
For a fulfilling life beyond fish,
He reeled in a whining whopper with a haute couture fin.
Drowning in deadlines and tedium,
And gasping for freedom
From the work bogging him down which he relied on for an income.
Putting his life on hold,
The stress made him feel old,
He wished he could alter his life that was as predictable as a pendulum.
On that fateful journey in July,
Not a soul could deny
The eerie change in the waves indicating a storm.
With 21 trout cast aside,
He’d soon have bigger fish to fry,
When he’d embark on his 22nd catch of the day, more alarming than any foghorn.
In tandem with the departure of a clear sky
Was the arrival of a noble flagship nearby,
Suddenly, he caught the eye of a lady as she plummeted overboard.
He gallantly came to her rescue,
As she exclaimed, “God bless you”,
He blushed at her extravagance, knowing her fellowship would be hard to afford.
He dived deep into her eyes
So blue they lifted the skies,
His heart fluttered and he grew faint as his cheeks heated to an intense red.
He had fallen head over heels,
He struggled to believe she was real,
Yet she had clearly landed with her high heels over any sense in her head.
As she fussed over the state of her shoes,
He wondered if she had a few screws loose,
Yet she had turned his boredom upside down and brain inside out.
Their romantic rendezvous
Had landed him in a catch-22,
As he was caught in the crossfire between her overwhelming beauty and oversized mouth.
Her refreshing gratitude
Soon boiled over to a scalding attitude,
But he had irretrievably fallen for her hook, line and sinker.
She demanded like a master,
“It’s freezing, paddle faster!”
The words like swords attacking him as skilfully as a fencer.
Yet he could see through her superficial scales,
While she only had eyes for the fashion sales.
He was determined to fish out her vulnerable soul underneath the posh exterior.
He knew it wouldn’t be easy,
Especially when her remarks made him feel queasy,
And her overbearing persona left him feeling inferior.
The insults soon flowed in as freely as the tide,
In all their glory and undefied,
And she boasted that her plumed headpiece had been crafted by the finest milliner.
No more appealing was this damsel in distress
Than the monster of Loch Ness,
When she compared his hat to a nesting box or the leftovers from a donkey’s dinner.
He vowed to play nice,
And tried adding some spice
By inviting her back to the shore to taste his chowder.
He hoped then that they would bond,
And she would eventually become fond
Of his prized mussels and clams, and he would no longer flounder.
Sometimes opposites just don’t attract
When the relationship is already cracked.
When she told him she loved Versace, Givenchy, Dolce & Gabbana and Chanel,
He asked how old were these sons and daughters,
As clueless as a fish out of water,
She looked fit to kill or banish him forever with a witch’s old spell.
Packed tightly in the boat like sardines,
Out of malice she wanted to scream,
Her dangerous eyes and venomous words made her look ready to commit slaughter.
She couldn’t tolerate another minute
Facing his wrinkles and the pong of fish fillets,
And pointed a finger menacingly, raging “Take me away from this wretched water!”
He had ignored the initial doubt in his gut,
And his desire had him completely stuck in a rut,
Until he spotted on her ring finger a shimmering sapphire jewel.
With realisation, he stated, “You’ve been married before,
But living with you must have been the ultimate chore,
That’s why he pushed you off the ship, he detested your habit of being cruel!”
His sudden turn as a detective
Had become highly effective,
As she was momentarily silenced and saw the value in mincing her words,
He calmly promised, “I’ll take you away from the sea,
Just in time for afternoon tea”.
And with a sly smile, deliberated how he’d dish up her just dessert.
It was now time for blast off,
As he would deal with this cast-off,
His feelings of affection for her had long passed away.
“How dare you do your utmost to take advantage
By adding my quiet, carefree life to your quest of carnage.
You’ll have to learn to be happy with the little things by living as a castaway!”
“You need to learn to be less selfish
and less condescending about my shellfish!”
She retaliated, “You’ll never be an honourable man, my husband was better!”
But he declared, “Hold your tongue a minute, dear,
You do not have to fear,
The déja vu may change your tune when you become a little wetter!”
“Its time you found your rightful place,
Never throw kindness back in someone’s face.
I’ll never again be fooled by the wail from a whale of a woman like you!
May your ability to gloat
help you learn to independently float!
I can’t wait to see you weasel your way now out of this catch-22!”
Earlier, she had bossed, “Listen here, Sonny,
That moustache resembles a dust bunny,
And an outfit in white should only be worn by a painter.”
Now he rallied back, “To tell you the truth,
You remind me of a half-plucked goose!”
Then pushed her into the sea and rowed away until her cries became fainter!
“You should never forget a favour
Or poke fun in the face of your saviour!”
He shouted after her as a final helpful token.
That story of love at first sight
Had turned into unrequited love in the worst light.
Now he’d know when following his heart to take caution and keep his eyes open!
The world was now his oyster
Whether he’d choose s life of dryness or moisture,
There would always be plenty of fish left in the sea.
He had wished for a woman as his anchor,
And for that he had to thank her,
Because he learned some things aren’t worth pursuing, and the simple pleasures in life are free!